Like a billionaire declaring that money's not important

"I just want to remind everyone that it’s what’s inside that really matters."

-Jessica Alba, upon receiving her "Choice Hottie" award at tonight's Teen Choice awards.

Runner-up stupid comment (so far):

"This crowd just needs a little booze."

Pre-show host Jillian Barbieri.

Um, Jill, it's Teen Choice. TEEN.